We are not amused by Harry and Meghan's antics

In Our day, when a royal prince retired from public duties, he did not hire a press secretary to schedule walkabouts in Nottingham while claiming to be a humble private citizen. Yet here We stand in October 2026, watching Our great-great-great-great-grandson Prince Harry and his wife Meghan tour the Community Recording Studio and Himmah food bank. While King Charles issued formal letters clarifying their status as strictly private individuals, the couple proceeded to gather crowds, accept bouquets, and deploy a media pool in burgundy couture. We are, to speak plainly, profoundly unamused by this constitutional masquerade.

One cannot possess one’s cake and consume it too. A private citizen does not conduct staged walkabouts, manage press rotas, or collect ceremonial greetings from schoolchildren while insisting they have abandoned the burdens of the Crown. If one desires private life, one should enjoy privacy in peaceful obscurity, not orchestrate pseudo-royal tours that undermine constitutional clarity. The present political leadership and palace administrators display a lamentable lack of fortitude by allowing such theatrical ambiguity. Parliament must enact sensible royal reform: a clear legislative framework governing former working royals. Either one undertakes genuine public service under constitutional oversight, or one steps back completely as a plain subject without royal styling for commercial or publicity tours. In an age of emerging media technologies where public perception is easily manipulated, clear constitutional boundaries preserve democratic trust. Royal tradition is built upon self-denial and duty to the realm, not bespoke, unvetted walkabouts that simulate Crown authority without its accompanying obligations.

Let there be no lingering confusion in the realm. Private citizenship is a noble civic status, and if the Sussexes wish to be private citizens, they must do so quietly without imperial pomp and theatrics.